The Threenage Years

So you made it through the "Terrible 2's" and you thought you made it through the worst of the toddler years? Nope, not even close, watch out 2's because here come the 3's! At 2 1/2, just when you think you're safe and you start to see a change in your sweet toddler, they become bossy, sensitive, even more verbal and boy, oh boy, independent! If you are seeing these behaviors then you are seeing the characteristics of a dreaded "threenager."

At first, with my daughter, I thought it was a phase that would last a week, or two, but then it went on, and on, and on...I thought to myself holy hell, where did my sweet girl go? I still have glimpses of her but on a daily basis I am told the following: "NO!" "I'LL DO IT MYSELF!" or "I'm a big girl Mama!" It's like my daughter is on a never ending period where her patience has run thin for me yet I have done nothing wrong.

Another part of the dreaded threenager is the never ending bargaining. It is like playing a game of LIFE but the bargaining chips are real: my job, my routines, my sanity! Case in point... Me, "Do you want to get dressed?" My threenager, "No!" Me, "Ok but mommy has to go to work so you have no choice you have to get dressed." Threenager, "I'll do it myself!" Then she attempts to do it herself, but as she moves at a snail's pace and makes attempts to put on her clothes "by herself" (of course everything goes on backwards first), I watch the clock ticking away and feel my patience start to falter. Me, "Can I help you because now we are running late and you are going to make mommy late for work." Threenager, "NO!" Me, "THAT'S IT I HAVE TO GO SO EITHER I HELP YOU OR I'M LEAVING WITHOUT YOU!!!" Yup, that's when I lose it! Then we move on to hair and she specifies whether she would like a Rapunzel braid, Belle twists, Elsa braid, Jasmine braid or Anna braid. Mmmmm hmmmm every damn hairstyle has a princess name yet they mostly look the same. Whilst doing her hair she is moving around like a wild bashee and her hair ends up looking like the wild woman she is but at that point I don't care because I have got to get out of the house. I take her to school and apologize for the way she looks (even though when I pick her up I know she will look like Medusa because her precious princess hairstyle has now all but fallen out). Does this all sound familiar? If it does than I am sorry to say you have a threenager on your hands as well.

So what can we do to curb this wild threenage behavior? Besides take up drinking as a sport? We can continue to love them with all of our hearts (even though on some days we may feel as if someone else must have given birth to this spawn of Satan), we can continue to let them assert their independence (but still show them who is boss), and we can continue to dig deep, every day, to find all of the patience in the world to deal with their tempers, fits and moods. After all this is all just practice for the "big show" which is the teenage years! We may just have to take up drinking as a sport to get through those years! May the force be with us all!

Leave a comment below all about your "threenager" and the funny things they do or say that drive you mad!