This past Friday night I attended an Easter Eggstravaganza at my son's school and took along my best friend and her daughter (who will attend this school in the future). As the kids ran around like maniacs and we shuffled through the hallways of chaos collecting Easter eggs, making crafts and talking to the other weary-eyed parents who were just trying to make it through the last few hours of a chaotic week I turned to my friend and laughingly said, "So this is how our Friday nights are now?" Her response really resonated with me as she said, "I finally made it!" She quickly followed up with, "You know I never really thought I would make it here." See her child was the child who wasn't supposed to make it, her child was the child that the doctors told her to abort, her child is a miracle we are all thankful for every day.
I know her statement had two meanings: she finally made it because this is where she never thought she would be on all of those days she sat at the doctor and they told her all of the grim possibilities her and her husband would face as parents if they kept their child and this is also the "mom club" most of us wait our whole lives to be a part of. I am not saying this is what all of us want but a good number of us wait our whole lives to become mothers. We have this fantasy created in our minds of what motherhood should and would look like and we patiently wait until Mr. Right comes along, we have our fairy tale weddings and then that beautiful baby enters our world. Once the reality of motherhood sets in, you know what I'm talking about, the sleepless nights, the fights with your significant other, the money that flies out the door because children cost a lot of dough, the whining, crying (ours and our kids), the refereeing of siblings, we get lost in the reality and forget the fantasy we once built for ourselves. Here is the thing though, since this was a life that was almost taken away from my friend, she still appreciates everything motherhood has to offer, the good and the bad. When I looked around that gym filled with screaming kids, zombie parents, crafts, coloring, cookies, chaos, I felt like my nerves where shot and I needed a tall glass of wine but she felt bliss. Her statement shook me to my core because I took a step back and looked at this night through her eyes. The gym was filled with beautiful kids who made it and moms who have gained access to the elusive "moms club" that some people never get to become a part of. I thought about the many moms who try and try but who aren't able to make it here due to not being able to have a child of their own and they finally succumb to the fact that they are not going to be able to live out their childhood fantasy of being a mom.
Next time you are at a function with your children and you think that you can't take the noise and craziness a minute longer just think about how you have made it! This is where you wanted to be and you should take all that comes along with motherhood: the good, the bad and the ugly. Sometimes it is hard to take a step outside of ourselves and look at the world from a different perspective but Friday night I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to do so. I was given a dose of reality to stop thinking about how tired I was, how much I had to do and how much I wanted to be anywhere else but there and to start thinking about that motherhood fairy tale that I once created for myself. I thought maybe I should live in that fantasy world, if only for just a few minutes? I took a minute to stop and look at my kids' happy faces, to look at her daughter, the miracle, and to think in life we are all just lucky enough to have made it!