Let's start from the beginning...

Let's start from the beginning...

October 17, 2016

All of my life I have been told, "Be careful you might get pregnant!" or, "You don't want to get pregnant do you?"  Well fast forward to my late 20's and I finally WANT to get pregnant.  Want in the sense of I think I may try this but not want in the sense of I have to have this now.  Then I heard the words, those crushing words, "You may have trouble getting pregnant," and my twinges of possibly wanting it turned into I HAVE TO HAVE THIS RIGHT NOW!!!  That creeping thought kept running through my mind, "Why me?  Why can all of those Teen Moms get pregnant and I can't?!?!"  I hated myself for hating others who had what I wanted but that's just how it goes when you are in the throes of wanting a pregnancy.  You want it so bad it is all you can eat, sleep, dream and think about....you can't escape paying attention to every little noise, feeling and bodily function that is happening to you.  You try and you try to no avail and then you become bitter.  It is a vicious cycle!  You start avoiding conversations about getting pregnant and you want to punch people in the throat when the say, "Are you guys trying?"  You want to scream, "YES I AM TRYING AND IT'S NOT HAPPENING!"  You are willing to listen to any crazy idea people have about getting pregnant... take baby aspirin, stand on your head and do a dance at the stroke of midnight....whatever it is you will try it!  No one will ever understand it until they have gone through it....the struggle is real!  My husband and I were VERY lucky because we did seek out fertility options and we were lucky enough to get our little miracle on the first try.  It will be weird to tell him one day that we sort of had a threesome in order to get pregnant (me, his dad and the doctor) but one thing he will always know is that he was wanted....he was SO wanted!  If you are reading this post and trying to get pregnant-I'm with you sister and I was you a few short years ago.  If you are reading this post and you have your baby, you know how it is truly nothing short of a miracle to have that little one in your arms. If you are reading this post and you are pulling your hair out because your little one has been driving you crazy all day long just think back to the time you wanted that child, you really WANTED him/her and think about how lucky you are to have a child to drive you crazy.   

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